Living in the COVID-19 World... and Beyond #13: What Are You Ready For?
I’m writing this at the end of June 2021 and the rate of new COVID-19 cases here in southwest Connecticut has stayed quite low. As you know, there are spikes and concerns about new waves and new variants in various places around the world. So, what makes sense for me to do in terms of my behavior, and what makes sense for you?
Last month, I flew for the 1st time in 16 months in order to go see my 93-year-old mom. Walking into the airport was quite stunning. After having spent most of the last 16 months alone with my wife and occasionally adventuring out for an as quick as possible trip to the supermarket or drug store, all of a sudden I was now in a crowd of people. I was not so much worried about infection – people were wearing masks, I was double-masked and fully vaccinated – but it felt weird to be in a group of people again. And then I boarded the plane, every seat was taken, and I was seated next to someone that I did not even know. It all went fine. I survived flying back and forth from New York to Phoenix. It was really my first experience of being with a group of people since March 2020.
Yesterday, I went to the supermarket to get groceries. I would estimate that one third to one half of the people in the store were not wearing masks. I was double-masked. Even some of the store workers were not wearing masks. Was everyone vaccinated? Were people being reckless? Was I being overly cautious?
In my work, I had shifted completely to phone and video conferencing. My last in-person client work was in early March 2020. I recently received my first new request to do some in-person consulting – to facilitate a team building session. It was clear to me that this session would definitely produce better outcomes if all participants were physically together. What questions did I need to ask in order to be comfortable myself resuming in-person consulting in situations like this?
I have been talking, reading, and listening to people in recent weeks about what makes sense in terms of interacting with other people and being in groups given the current situation regarding COVID-19.
As I listen to people, I have heard a range of opinions embedded in which are, I believe, some reactive responses. Some people express being fed up with feeling isolated for the last 16 months and are eager for contact with other people. While others have internalized the fears to be cautious and hesitate to break out of the protected bubble in which they have been living.
Here are some things that I am thinking about as I strive to develop some tentative personal policies that I could use as guides for my own behavior:
· Regarding one-to-one meetings with other people, I want to first have a conversation with the other person about the possibility of getting together. I don’t think this is a “one size fits all” situation. I can imagine being more comfortable getting together (outside or inside, with or without masks) with some people as opposed to others. I want to be clear with people and not have unspoken assumptions. I have begun to have these conversations with various friends, and it has been quite interesting to see what I think makes sense for me and to hear what others think make sense for them, and then finding the ground on which we can both agree.
· Another point for me is to also check in with my wife to see if she is comfortable with whatever I am thinking about doing since whatever I do introduces risk for her too. This was especially important in thinking through the opportunity to do in-person consulting work since it involves people that she does not know at all.
· Finally, I have tried to identify what might be the psychological drivers for my (or others’) desire, or lack of desire, to get together with other people. I think my tendency is to be risk adverse and so maybe I need to challenge myself to go beyond where I feel super-comfortable and construct some actual experiments that push me beyond my comfort zone. And then debrief the experience and derive whatever learnings and lessons that I can to guide future behavior.
What are you ready for? What is your best thinking?