Living in the COVID-19 World ... and Beyond #12: Re-Connecting with an Old Friend

Robert and I were best friends until we were 9 years old.   I only have a few memories of what we did together, but I know we were best friends.

We saw each other once when we were 10.   My parents and I made a visit to California and I remember that I stayed over at his place and that we went to Disneyland.   And that was it – we did not write or call each other after that.  I’m not sure why we lost contact … but we did.   

That is until a few years ago, when I was gripped by some nostalgia feelings and I searched for him online and found him once I thought to use the name Bob instead of Robert.   We exchanged some emails and then had a few phone calls, all pleasant and positive, while leaving out tons of information about what we had done for the last 55 years.

And then last week we got together.

How do you greet someone that you have not seen in 55 years, especially during COVID?   What do you talk about?   Would we still like each other?   

I am relieved to write that it went really well.   It started and ended with hugs.  

We talked for 2 ½ hours and we could have talked much longer.   We both seemed eager to know more about each other, and our spouses were supportive of us, Robert and I, being the focus of the conversation.

And to be honest, I was also eager to learn more about what I was like in those early years of my life.   I have been troubled for many years about how little I seem to remember from my early years.  I used to joke that I must have been born at the age of 6 via a science experiment since, for a long time, I could not remember anything that happened prior to my going to kindergarten.  

Robert remembered so much more than I.   He remembered that on my visit to see him when we were 10, my parents also took us on a drive through Hollywood, and that my dad stopped Walter Matthau for an autograph.   After Robert told me that story, I did remember holding in my hands the map that showed tourists where the stars lived, but I had no recollection of my dad interacting with a celebrity.   Robert remembered the house I lived in and how we used to play together in the basement.  I have no recollection of Robert ever being in my house.  My memories were about being with him at his grandparents’ home and of going to Camp Echo together for 2 summers.   

Why is it that some people remember much more of their childhood and others remember much less?   And what accounts for such big differences in the stories that we remember?

I believe that I’m on a quest to remember more of what my childhood was like.   I have such big gaps in my memory.  Our memories of our early lives are a treasure chest of understanding about who we are today.    I’m curious to know more.   And re-connecting with old friends is one pathway to refreshing those memories and re-kindling friendships at the same time.