Living in the Covid-19 World ... And Beyond: #2 - Being Connected Amidst Physical Separation
There are many challenging and difficult aspects of the current situation of COVID-19. There are the myriad health challenges with far too many people getting sick and dying, the economic challenges with millions of people out of work and an untold number of businesses failing, and the disproportionate impact of all of this on people of color due to racism. Another aspect of the current situation of COVID-19 is physical separation, and this impacts all of us and in uniquely difficult ways.
One way to think about connection is in regard to four realms:
· Connection to self
· Connection to others
· Connection to community
· Connection to the world
As humans, we are inherently connected in all of these realms. However, many, if not all, of us have had our sense of connection in one or more of these four realms seriously impaired. How did this happen? Maybe we spent too much time alone when we were young and could not tell that people cared about us. Maybe we never received clear and understandable information about the world around us, and therefore we were ignorant or even misinformed. Maybe we were encouraged to focus on one aspect of our being, like developing our thinking or developing our body to be an athlete, and that left us disconnected from other parts of ourselves. We each have our own story of what happened and regardless of how it occurred, the result is that most of us have some sense of disconnection. One can say that this sense of disconnection has been installed in us as a result of experiences in our lives.
Living in the Covid-19 world can really exacerbate this sense of disconnection for ourselves and for the people we work with. Given physical separation, it is understandable that many people are feeling more alone and disconnected. It is important to notice these emotions when we have them, to acknowledge them to ourselves and to others, and not to pretend that everything is fine and that there is nothing that is hard for us about the physical separation.
At the same time, a perspective that I have found to be quite helpful is that I and each of us are just as connected now as we were before COVID-19.
Most of us have had experiences of physical separation in the past. For example, we left our families to go to school or we moved to take jobs away from friends and loved ones. In these instances, and others like them, we had a real sense of loss and we were able to choose to maintain the connection and love that we had for the people and places that we left. In another example, the love that I have felt for a dear friend who died has continued unabated even without his active presence in my life.
In fact, I have actually found it easier to notice how connected I am without having physical connection as the ostensible rationale for feeling connection. I am just as connected to myself, to others, my community, and the world as I have ever been. Yes, sometimes I feel separate and alone, but I can recognize that this is not what is really true. It is not true for me and it is not true for you. We are just as connected as we have ever been, and I think it is important, especially in these times, to notice how connected we actually are.
Let’s celebrate our connections and not pay heed to any nagging suspicions of disconnection that might come up in our heads. Let’s help others around us – whether family members, co-workers, neighbors, or friends – celebrate the connection in their lives as well. And let’s strive to deepen those connections – within ourselves, with others, with our community, and with the world – each day even while we are experiencing physical separation. In my mind, being connected and deepening connection is one way that I am battling COVID-19 and winning.