Living in the COVID World ... and Beyond #46: The Pain of Boredom

Have you ever felt bored?  

I hate feeling bored.  It is probably the state of mind that, at least for me, is the hardest.  

I can be scared or sad, and I understand what is happening.   I can process those emotions immediately or at a later time … but whenever I do, I can identify what is the cause, feel it fully, think about options to pursue, decide on a course of action, and move forward.  

But boredom … what is that all about?    Objectively, I have a very interesting life with a whole variety of activities ranging from work to activism to family to writing blogs! … and much more.   I have a to-do list that is far greater than what I can actually do.   How could I possibly feel bored?

As a child, I was definitely bored.   I can remember complaining to my parents about how boring elementary school was.   I remember feeling bored at home too, uttering the complaint: “There’s nothing to do!”   Back then, the feeling of boredom seemed pervasive.   I did not feel bored all the time, but it sure seemed like I did.

My analysis, when I look objectively at my current situation, is that there are times when what is happening around me must somehow remind me of my childhood and I feel bored.   It could be just a day when I have less meetings scheduled or when there are no urgent to-dos.  Whatever the potential cause, that awful feeling of boredom from my past emerges and can start to take over my whole state of mind.   And the phrase that comes into my head, unsurprisingly, is: “there’s nothing to do” – a literal repeat of the phrase that I used to say as a child.   I would describe my emotions as feeling empty and meaningless when this condition of boredom takes over within me.    And further, I would say that it is painful to feel bored.

Happily, I have gotten better at recognizing that this is an old pattern from the past and deciding not to slip into a painful state of ennui.   Instead, I say to myself: “Mike, your life is so interesting, you have lots of things you want to do that matter to you.”   I can talk myself out of the boredom feeling and refocus on whatever I choose from my vast list of meaningful activities.   I usually have to repeat this perspective to myself a number of times until I actually hear it and can acknowledge to myself that it is a far better description of my current reality.

Do you sometimes feel bored?   What is that about for you?   And how do you work through it?