Living in the COVID World ... and Beyond #31: Thinking about Things that I Did Not Think I Could Think About

I think about a lot of things.   I’d even venture to assert that I have developed expertise in some topics.   But there are also some things that I have not tried to think so much about.  Maybe even clearer, there are topics that I have actively decided not to think about.  They are areas for which I have said in my head something like: “that is for others to figure out.”     

One of these “don’t go there” topics for me has been gender and gender fluidity and transitioning.   I’m not even sure if I know all the correct words to use in this discussion.

When I was growing up, all I knew was that there were boys and girls.   At first, I only understood that boys were supposed to like girls and girls were supposed to like boys.  As I got a little older, I started to understand about some boys liking boys and some girls liking girls.  Even as I understood about some people being gay or lesbian or bisexual, it was still that there are boys and there are girls.   And as I got even older, I began to understand much more about sex-role conditioning, about how boys and girls are taught or trained that there are a certain set of behaviors that are associated with being male and  another set of behaviors associated with being female, and that it is good to challenge that inculturation into sex-role norms and strive to choose how one wants to be in the world.   I even helped to start and lead an organization that focused on educating men about sex-role stereotyping and gender-based roles.   And still I understood that there are simply males and there are females.  

As we all know, there is currently a lot of more discussion than there was when I was growing or than there was even ten years ago, about gender, gender assigned at birth, gender fluidity, and transitioning from one gender to another.  

I decided I need to understand more about this as I have started to have contact, primarily with teenagers, for whom this discussion is much more active and an issue in their lives.   I want to be able to listen in a relaxed manner, be thoughtful and supportive, and be able to hold some perspective in my mind so that I am not confused.

I saw various articles on this topic, and I found them very hard to read and to absorb.   I think my own conditioning about gender has definitely been a barrier.   And also, too many articles took one side or one viewpoint, and clearly the issues are much more nuanced than that.

Two friends recommended a podcast, which I will now recommend to you, entitled “The Witch Trials of J.K. Rowling”.   I found it to be easy to listen to, it helped me better understand the issues and especially the political context surrounding these gender-related issues.   This podcast is a series of seven episodes, each about an hour long.   So, it was a lot of listening.   (There is a lot more in this podcast series than gender and transitioning issues … it is also about cancel culture and the limiting of debate.)

The podcast host tries to present a balanced set of views that include multiple trans rights advocates and J.K. Rowling herself who, coming from an avowed feminist perspective, voices concerns about men who have transitioned to female (or even have just declared themselves to be female) having access to women-only spaces and the risks this could pose for other women.   There is a lot to unpack here about what are equal rights, how to both recognize and respect someone’s choices and, at the same time, recognize and respect all other people.  

I’m clear that I want to treat all people with respect.  And I’m clear that there is an active oppression of trans people and I’m opposed to oppression in all of its forms.    And I still have a lot to learn.

Most importantly, returning to my initial paragraph, I can think about these issues too.  They are not out-of-bounds for me.  I can choose to learn and think about any topic that I choose, and I think it makes sense not to consider any area of mental exploration to be verboten (forbidden). 

Are there topics that you have shied away from for whatever reasons?   What have you done to learn more about topics that you had previously set aside and thought were not for you?   Are you willing to step outside of your comfort zone and explore these topics and develop your own thoughts and perspectives?