Living in the COVID-19 World and Beyond: #8 - Exploring Whiteness in a Racialized Society

For several years, I have been part of a team convening and facilitating a series of cross-race dialog sessions locally in Stamford CT.   This has been an excellent experience and has deepened my understanding of racism and its effects.   This year, motivated in part by the racist violence that was so apparent and upsetting, I decided that I wanted to meet with white people and look more deeply at our racism together.

Based on my past experiences of exploring the impact on me of being a white person and the multiple trainings that I have attended on racism, I put together an outline for a 6-week series  of sessions on exploring whiteness in a racialized society.     We advertised this class through the local library, and I was surprised to see a large number of people register.   I quickly recruited and met with three other white people who could act as small group facilitators with me.  

Twenty-two people came together for our first session and stayed with the program for its duration.   For the most part, this was a group of middle-aged, middle-class white people who had not been activists regarding racism.

My goal was to provide the attendees the opportunity to look more consciously at our personal racism as white people, especially as directed at black people.   I compiled a combination of readings and videos that were assigned to be completed before each meeting, and we also did some additional homework activities.

 Topics covered included: the history of racism, who are our people and when and how did they become white, early experiences with people who were different than you in that they were not white,  recognizing the patterns that have been instilled in us as white people, building relationships with people of color, initiating and sustaining conversations about race, and white racial identity development.

There was personal learning and insights throughout the six weeks together.   Many people had never looked at their family’s history from the perspective of being white nor had they ever looked at their earliest experiences with people of a different skin color, and simply doing this work on our personal histories was eye-opening in itself.   

Using myself as an example, the first experience that I remember with a black person was with my schoolmate Billy.    I think we became friends in 1st grade.  He lived around the corner from me and he invited to go play after school at his house one afternoon.   I don’t remember anything about what we played or how good or not well a time we had.  What I do remember is my mother asking me, after I returned home: “What was their house like?”    This was not a typical question of my mom’s, maybe because she had been in the homes of most of my young playmates.   And I remember her question clearly in my mind, and I think it sent a subtle message that there was something different or curious about Billy and his family.

Remembering and processing these stories is an important part of examining the impact of racism on each of us, but it is not sufficient in itself.  We also must take action on a personal, organizational and institutional level to be anti-racist.   

I am already involved in some next steps.   Here in Stamford an organization has formed called Stamford Stands Against Racism (SSAR) and over 100 local nonprofit and government organizations have signed as co-sponsors with a commitment to take action against racism in their organizations.   I have been asked to join the leadership team of SSAR, and I know my learning will continue through doing the work with others towards ending racism.