Living in the COVID-19 World ... and Beyond #22: Some Thoughts on Growing Older (Part 1)

How old are you?   How old do you feel like you are?  

I’m 66 years old.

I feel like I’m much younger than 66.   I don’t quite feel like I’m still in my 20’s.   Although some days I do.   More frequently I feel like I’m in my 40’s or so.  

Being in one’s sixties when I was growing up meant that you were “OLD”, that you stopped working, that your best years were behind you, and that you were nearing the end of your life.  

When my dad was in his early 60’s, he sold his business and retired. My parents moved to Phoenix, and my dad spent 5+ days each week playing golf.  

I’m not living my life in a way consistent with how I saw people in their 60’s live their lives when I was growing up.   Therefore, I feel like I must not be in my 60’s yet.

And I’m 66 years old.   And I’m growing older every day.

But I don’t feel like I’m growing older.  Now, I know this is nonsense.  I am growing older and older each day.   Aren’t I?   Yes Mike, you are!!  People comment to me about what good shape I’m in, how healthy I eat, and that I exercise regularly.   This is true, and my dad passed away at 98 and my mom is still doing pretty well at 95 … so to the extent that genes matter, I seem to have a very good genetic background.   Barring an unforeseen accident, it is likely that I’ll live quite a long time.   And I am getting older.   This is undeniably true (even if I don’t feel that way).

I think it is important that we not pretend that we are younger than we are and that we are not growing older.   We have to face reality.

This has been brought home to me in recent weeks as I have seen friends and family members confront challenges associated with growing older.    One incident was with a friend visiting us this summer on Cape Cod.    He is 90 years old.  I asked if he wanted help bringing his bags into the house.  He said no, and that he would be fine.   Minutes later I heard him calling my name.   I went to him, and he had fallen backward off the front step trying to open the door while balancing luggage in his hand.  He could not get up on his own.   I helped him and he was OK … but embarrassed.   He needed the help to bring in his bags but was not connected enough to the reality of his physical capabilities to recognize it and ask for it upfront.

So, it is dangerous not to recognize that we are growing older, that we are the age that we are, and we need to face what we can do and what we cannot do … and that is likely different than what it was in the past.

I’m 66 years old and I’m growing older.  I might still feel like I’m in my 40’s but I’m not.   As I continue to grow older, I need to pay attention to what I can do and where I might need help or need do things differently than I have in the past.   At the same time, I don’t want to limit myself prematurely.   There is a needle to thread here of continuing to grow and challenge myself and enjoy life, and, at the same time, be mindful of my real and changing capabilities.

How old are you?   How old do you feel like you are?